Book Review: The Collapse of Parenting
Lutheran Schools are asked to serve in many different ways, and our faculty has noticed several new challenges that have arisen as technology and time changed our culture over the last several school years. It has been the focus of our staff to explore books which help to empower parents in such a time. Recently, we read The Collapse of Parenting which would be found in the parenting corner of bookstores, but we have found that we are being asked to help parents learn to parent and thus we have relied on a genre that isn’t always associated with teachers. The author, Dr. Leonard Sax, has noticed several trends in America over the past three decades from his vantage point in family medicine. He attempts to help families avoid these challenges by offering parenting strategies which avoid medication. The largest trends he points out include: “Why Americans are over-medicated” and “Why Americans are fragile”.
A theme that runs through all of the solutions Dr. Sax suggests is the importance of parents developing a relationship with children that encourages the child to view parents as the primary relationship instead of peers. When parents have spent personal time with children, children recognize they are valued, they see parents as an unconditional source of love (not vulnerable to social fads), and parents recognize that they must have rules and limits. The growing importance of popularity and social acceptance has encouraged young people to grow apart from their family and into a more conditional relationship controlled by peers. Young people are destined to be fragile if they do not rely on the unconditional love of a parent.
Sax explains the spike in prescription drug use in America and how it is not paralleled in other developed countries, suggesting that it is not a literal change in our children or culture, but in the willingness and desire by parents and family doctors to prescribe. He gives many examples of children with the symptoms of bipolar disorders or attention disorders, and how they are mostly struggling with a lack of sleep due to the prevalence of screen time and lack of strict bedtimes. And what is to explain the doctors who are writing more prescriptions than ever? In Sax’s opinion, it is not for the doctor to give parenting advice and thus they will simply prescribe something for the symptoms instead of suggesting parenting strategies to treat the cause. He also suggests that obesity, attention disorders, and some bipolar disorders could be prevented or treated by ensuring that our children eat healthy, put phones away before bedtime, and respect their parents.
Our faculty may soon decide to spend time reading books about cutting edge teaching methods, but for the past several years it has been clear that the social issues within and outside of our school are a high priority. With that in mind, our faculty has enjoyed reading books meant for a parental audience, and we believe that it has empowered us to see that parents and teachers alike have the expectation to be loving AND strict. We pray that your families and schools recognize the challenge of parenting as a gift from our omniscient Savior.
Other $10 resources from Amazon bookstore:
- Best Friends, Worst Enemies by Michael Thompson
- Raising Cain by Dan Kindlon
- Already Gone by Ken Ham
